Red Flags in New Relationships!

Red flags are critical to look out for in a new relationship. These are those little things that you might say ... "ooooh he is just having a bad day.. or that attitude won't last" He's not and it will. Here are a few of the big ones that I have learned from personal experience.

1. If he doesn't want you to come over to his apartment: This is a HUGE red flag. There is a reason that he is not inviting you over. It could be something as innocent as he is just really messy or as serious as.. he is married. Either way, if someone is into you they will ask you to come over at some point in the early stages of the relationship.
2. If you never meet his friends: This goes hand in hand with not going to his place. He is hiding something. Either a wife and kid from you or you from them.
3. If he's too busy: Note, a guy, if he is into you, he will never be too busy. One day or 2 days maybe. but if he is still making excuses after 3, this is a huge red flag. The only reason a guy would go so long not wanting to see you would be because he is a CEO of a VERY important company and is working on a huge merger.. and even then... he will make time to see you.
4. Talks bad about his mom: Everyone can get annoyed with their mom from time to time. But if he does nothing but talks about how mean she is, how fat she is, how he wouldn't even invite her to his wedding... Red flag!
5. No pictures on his wall: This is a subtle one, but it screams fear of attachment. It says he can't commit to one thing, always changing his mind. I mean, come on! Not even one picture? One of mom? yourself?? your dead cat Fluffy??
6. If everything is too perfect: then there is something wrong. No body is perfect, no two personalities will mesh with everything. Arguing means growing. You learn what the other person likes, what steps on their toes, when NOT to bring up the fact that there was a really hot guy who bought you a beer the other night. You need to learn the in's and out's of a relationship and arguing here and there is a healthy way of doing it. Plus the making up is so much fun too!
7. If he insists that you check in but the reverse does not apply: "You are going out tonight? with who? Thanks for asking if I wanted to come along, I really wish you would tell me what you are doing before hand" and then on the flip side "Oh tonight... I think I might just hang out with some friends, talk to you later". He has to know your every move, but knowing his... well you should just know better. He is a grown man, he shouldn't have to check in with you, but you try and do something without him? fuggedaboutit. RED FLAG. You should be free to do whatever you want whenever you want. And no amount of MASSIVE OVERLOAD text messages should stop you. If he is constantly calling/ texting you to see where you are and who you are with and then flips out when a response doesn't come in his time frame, he is a very insecure person who needs that validation. You don't.
8. If he criticizes your wardrobe: Getting advice from your loved one is great, wanting to know that you like what we are wearing is always a plus and sometimes we need that push of encouragement. But when you get comments such as "I really don't like my women dressing like whores" or "you just don't have any style", OH you HAVE a style, it is just not his... RUN!
9. If he criticizes your friends: Granted you may not like all of his friends, if he lets you meet them, so it is fair to say that he may not like all of your friends. But it is a major red flag when, after meeting them, he tells you to your face "I can't stand your best friend, she is a total bitch" NOT acceptable. It falls in the old saying, "I can say whatever I want to say about my friends, but if you put them down.. I will knife your kidneys". Unless he is ok with you putting his friends down left and right and refusing to hang out with them and then insisting he shouldn't hang out with them either, then he shouldn't voice such strong opinions. Your friends are part of your life, you love them. If he can't get along with them then there is a good chance you will be butting heads later when he won't let you hang out with your friends and then all you are left with him. The Beatles didn't write a song about needing a little help from your friends for nothing.
10. They refuse labels: There is nothing wrong with making an informed decision about someone, making sure that they are good enough to be called your girlfriend/boyfriend. But sooner or later you are going to need to shit or get off the pot... so to speak. "Dating for a few weeks.. even a month, is perfectly acceptable, but when you reach that 2 month mark something needs to be done. Either that relationships is moving forward or it is getting the plug pulled on it. Someone not willing to commit to a relationship has too many issues that they need to work through before they take that step. If they are having a hard time committing to a person that they are showing a strong liking for, how can you expect them to commit to larger things like... what to eat for dinner??