Let's face it, not every date will have fireworks flying and conversation flowing. Sometimes they may plain well suck. Most of the below par dates you can last through until they are over and there is that awkward goodbye, knowing damn well you won't be hearing from him, nor he from you, but at least you got a free meal out of the deal. The dates that produce the most weird ones are the blind or online dates. You don't really know what to expect and you have to really plan for anything
But there ARE those few dates that go horribly wrong and I mean... TERRIBLE, and an escape route will definitely be coming in handy. Here are a few examples.
The Creeper:
I'm sure he has EVERY intention of wooing the pants off of you. He even picked up a flower for you. But he just is a tiny bit.. oh what's the word... ANTI-SOCIAL! His 1st mistake was that as you walked in he bowed to you. And you might be thinking... is he Asian?? Well that might be acceptable if he was, but no, it was more of a ... "after you mah lady" type of bow. I don't care who you are.. that is creepy. But he took you to a really nice place, maybe the bow can be over looked. Then he starts talking.. and talking ... and a little more talking about his video games... and movies and books.. and it becomes very evident that this nice young man does not leave his house much and you realize that you need to get out!
Now with the creeper, breaking it off in the middle of the date can be deadly. This will provoke a lot of questions, "is it something I did? I was just about to ask you if you wanted to meet my mom!" In these cases it is best to eat your food, let him pay the bill, and tell him you had a great night and will talk to him later. Just make sure if you have his number in your phone, don't delete it. You will need to know when he is calling so as to not answer his creepy calls.
Handsy MaGee:
This is the guy that will make you SO very thankful that you told you friends where you were going and who you are with. There is a good chance that this guy will only ask you out on a date where you are meeting for drinks. Yes he has an ulterior motive. Don't be fooled. This one will use the excuse that the one light beer that he bought for you means that you are now open to his advances. With in minutes of meeting you he will be trying to break the touch barrier. It may be something as small as a hand on your back or shoulder or something as OVER the line as a hand on the leg. Either way, if you are just meeting someone for the 1st time, touching with in the 1st few minutes can be a little daunting. With these guys you will need to be forceful. A mild, "oh I forgot, I need to get up early in the morning so I better go" will lead him to ask if he can join you. Really, anything short of, "sorry, but this is just not going to work out" will be leading this guy on. So be straightforward with this gropey groperson and get the heck out of there.
Mr. Invisible:
This one is the reason that you must bring money with you on a date. This is where the guy is a no show, and you are left there waiting on him. You wait about 10... MAYBE 15 minutes and then you go ahead and order your meal. You have just been taken out on a date by the most awesome person there is, yourself. Be glad that the guy didn't show up. He was probably an axe murderer who was with another date/ victim. Now you can enjoy your night out with yourself!
Bob the Bigot:
If you are in the same boat and are against anyone who is not like you.. then this guy is for you. But if you respect people and think they are equal and this Bob is putting down everyone down who is not like him, over the line slander after over the line slander, trust me on this one, don't even laugh politely at his jokes, get out. It will only get worse as time goes on.
I would say to have your friend call you and pretend to be the police saying that there was a break in at your house and everything was stolen and there is a dead body in there and you have to leave right away.. but this is played out. I have actually had a date call me on a phone call when it came in that was from my aunt telling me "Emergency! Emergency!! This is your emergency call to get out of your date!" He told me "you know this one time, I had a date that got a call and told me that she had to go because her brother was in a car wreck, but I later found out that she had a friend call her so she could leave... who was on the phone" Shit.. So I suffered through the rest of that date. Don't use the call rescue method!
Most dates will be ok.. if nothing else it's a free meal. But for those that you can't handle. Use any of the above methods to get out of their quick!
Happy dating!
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