OK fellas, I recently had my eyes opened on a date to what a good guy should be doing on a date when he is really trying to respect the woman he is with and treat her like a lady. This sparked my interest to write about it and jot down a few things that will definitely win you points with that certain lady you are trying to make swoon.
1. When asking her out on the 1st date coffee shops are always nice. They say “Chill, without the need to get her drunk and easy”. Inviting someone out for drinks will only lead in one direction, too much physical contact too early, innuendos about sex, which WILL be fun in the moment, but are not the way to speak to a lady you just met and she will not see you as anything more that a guy who wants sex. It takes a lot of effort to get past that mindset once it is planted in our heads. There’s a reason people say to be friends first and then date, because friends aren’t just out looking for sex from you, they actually want to know about you and care about you when you are hurt.
2. When planning the date you might want to combine something the girl has mentioned earlier about things she is interested in. If she has mentioned that she LOVES old movies and you heard that there is a showing of a Hitchcock movie playing in town, HIT THAT UP! If she says she loves art and artsy things… look into art museums. Playing on her interests definitely makes her feel like you are listening to what she has to say and that you see her as an important worthwhile person.
3. CALL HER! Don’t text her, take the time and effort to call her and ask her on the date. While seeming to be not a big deal, that chivalry shit goes a LONG way. Us ladies don’t always get calls from guys anymore... we are left to wait by our phones for that TEXT… when did we get to that point?
4. Staying with this chivalry tune, on the date, be a gentleman. By this I mean; open doors, walk her to her car, PAY for her. I have talked to a lot of guys who think that paying for a lady is too much now. That there is no reason to pay for her if she doesn’t even care and is just using you. A little secret to you guys, if you don’t treat us like we are worthwhile then we will JUST see you as a free meal for the night. Besides, a good rule of thumb is not to ask out a lady if you can’t afford to pay her way as well. Unfortunately I have had several guys feel the way that I mentioned above and I have just started bringing enough money on the date for myself in case the guy chooses to go ‘dutch’. After the 1st date that includes a meal you can start talking about paying your own way. But that 1st initial impression it critical for a lady. It’s always refreshing to have that door opened for us or being walked to our car, knowing that it is out of your way just to make sure we are safe getting there.
5. And finally, dress nice when you do meet up. I’m not talking about suiting up, unless it IS a fancy place you are taking her. But if it is a casual date, at least comb your hair, put on clean clothes that fit and make you look put together. No one wants to show up to a 1st date only to see the guy wearing shorts and a shirt that looks like he just got done eating BBQ. If it’s a night date, go with a button up shirt and jeans and dear God no flip flops. If you plan to treat her like she is a worthwhile person at least look like you too are a worthwhile person for her to give a damn about.
You may notice a trend in these topics, the word “worthwhile”. This is key, neither us ladies or you guys want to feel like we are just a conquest for the night… and if you fellas do… then you are not looking for a lady.
So good luck and happy dating!
