Before you meet your online lover you must 1st talk to them. This is to gather more information so as to know if they are a good match or someone you should stand up. This will consist of a few emails back and forth.. maybe an exchange of digits to text here and there.. so that they can all lead up to meeting up in the future and seeing if there are sparks.
But there are topics that you might want to steer clear of to avoid miscommunication.
A little harmless messaging is perfectly acceptable, but be careful, some people WILL try to push the line so as to see if this meeting is going to end with an awkward hug or a happy ending.
And as always.. if you are looking for a "happy ending" with this random online junkie.. go for it.. but you never know what kind of diseases these people are caring, so tread lightly.
But to avoid the potential playmate here are some Do's and Don't when 1st chatting it up.
DO Tell them you dig their pics
DON'T tell them you are wondering what is under that sweatshirt they are wearing.
DO mention how long you have been single
DON'T mention how long it has been since you got laid
DO make plans to meet up
DON'T make plans to meet up at 3am
DO tell some jokes to show off your awesome witty side
DON'T tell the one that ends "knock knock, who's there? naked, naked who? Why don't you come over and let's get naked"
DO tell them you like their smile
DON'T tell them you want to see that mouth all kinds of up close and personal
Often times it is easy to get carried away when talking to someone online. The inhibitions are lowered, it becomes kind of like a game... it's much like being drunk... taking someone home... and then having that awkward moment the next morning regretting everything you said and did the night before. Not that I know anything about that.
Just keep your wits about you. Don't say anything to these people that you have not met that you would not say to a stranger in a dark alley where there is no one around to hear you. At LEAST until you meet them in person.
Happy Dating!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Deciphering Online Profiles
In online dating sites people are naturally going to put their best foot forward to woo their potential mate. It's much like someone writing an add for a house and using a nice way of saying it's a piece of crap. Like when someone says "The house has a lived in feel", this of course means that it is run down and will need a lot of help. When the add says "In a very friendly neighborhood", this means, you have no lawn and your neighbor's house is VERY close to you, practically on top of you. So it only makes sense for people to do the same advertising for themselves online. But THANKFULLY you have me here to help you weed out and decipher what the profiles are REALLY saying.
Before you start looking you must first think about the kind of person you are wanting to find. You are either going on this site to find a quick hook up, just friends, or a relationship. Once you know what you are after you can begin reading the profiles.
Let's start with the obvious ones first, if you are looking for someone to just hook up with, no real strings attached, you are going to want to look for people who have a line similar to this on their page, "Not looking for anything serious". That is always a big give away. They are not looking for anything serious, and believe this. If you see this page and you think "that is a good looking person, I would love to get into a relationship with that one", if they say "nothing serious"... they mean it. They are not at the point to jump into a relationship. So it is best to go into this one not expecting anything. As long as the boundaries are set.. this will work out for both of you! That is until one of you finds someone you want to date, then you must split ways, because honestly, no real relationships can blossom from a booty call.
"Not looking for any drama, no mind games" This phrase means that they just got out of a relationship where someone did JUST this to them. Tread lightly with this one, if at all. There is a chance that you will be walking on egg shells until there is a trust. They may just not be ready for a relationship at this time and are jumping into the dating scene too early. Either way.. keep your wits about you.
At the same time, be careful when someone is too wistful. For example, if they talk about "loving to cuddle, wanting to find that one magical person to complete their lives"... they may also not be ready to get into a relationship. It is not ok for someone to go into a relationship thinking that they need that other person to 'complete' them. This usually comes from someone who is insecure and will try to move really fast and will eventually smother you so that one day when they want to take you to Enchanted Rock you break down and tell them that you can't do this anymore, that you got too freaked out when they tried to tell you that they loved you after you bought them a burger.. as an example
Now if you are looking for someone to start a relationship with, and you are venturing into the online world to find that someone there are phrases that you should look for. Look for someone who says, "let's see where things go, just get to know each other". These are the stable people who are ready for a relationship. Not saying that it will work out. But you have the best chance with these people. But just a fair warning... This group is few and far between.
The majority of people on the online sites are going to fall into the first 2 categories. You are going to have to weed through a lot... and I mean A LOT of bad seeds before you find a decent candidate.. if that is in fact what you are looking for.
Happy dating!
Before you start looking you must first think about the kind of person you are wanting to find. You are either going on this site to find a quick hook up, just friends, or a relationship. Once you know what you are after you can begin reading the profiles.
Let's start with the obvious ones first, if you are looking for someone to just hook up with, no real strings attached, you are going to want to look for people who have a line similar to this on their page, "Not looking for anything serious". That is always a big give away. They are not looking for anything serious, and believe this. If you see this page and you think "that is a good looking person, I would love to get into a relationship with that one", if they say "nothing serious"... they mean it. They are not at the point to jump into a relationship. So it is best to go into this one not expecting anything. As long as the boundaries are set.. this will work out for both of you! That is until one of you finds someone you want to date, then you must split ways, because honestly, no real relationships can blossom from a booty call.
"Not looking for any drama, no mind games" This phrase means that they just got out of a relationship where someone did JUST this to them. Tread lightly with this one, if at all. There is a chance that you will be walking on egg shells until there is a trust. They may just not be ready for a relationship at this time and are jumping into the dating scene too early. Either way.. keep your wits about you.
At the same time, be careful when someone is too wistful. For example, if they talk about "loving to cuddle, wanting to find that one magical person to complete their lives"... they may also not be ready to get into a relationship. It is not ok for someone to go into a relationship thinking that they need that other person to 'complete' them. This usually comes from someone who is insecure and will try to move really fast and will eventually smother you so that one day when they want to take you to Enchanted Rock you break down and tell them that you can't do this anymore, that you got too freaked out when they tried to tell you that they loved you after you bought them a burger.. as an example
Now if you are looking for someone to start a relationship with, and you are venturing into the online world to find that someone there are phrases that you should look for. Look for someone who says, "let's see where things go, just get to know each other". These are the stable people who are ready for a relationship. Not saying that it will work out. But you have the best chance with these people. But just a fair warning... This group is few and far between.
The majority of people on the online sites are going to fall into the first 2 categories. You are going to have to weed through a lot... and I mean A LOT of bad seeds before you find a decent candidate.. if that is in fact what you are looking for.
Happy dating!
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